What Do You Do if Your Child is Transgender?
In previous blog posts we have explored how you might know if you are transgender and what to do if you are. As a follow up, I will focus on what to do if you think your child might be transgender or gender variant. This can be a controversial topic, and the parent of a child who is navigating this journey is likely to face societal bias and assumptions. So, let’s look to the scientific research around this topic for some objective guidance.
Children Are Not Confused or Seeking Attention
When it comes to the question of whether or not children really know if they are transgender, a recent study out of the University of Washington found that yes, in fact they do (Olsen, Key, & Eaton, 2014). The children’s responses to the research questions mirrored the answers from two control groups of cisgender (nontransgender) children, providing evidence that transgender children are not confused or seeking attention, they actually experience themselves and their gender the same way as cisgender kids do.
Researchers have also looked into what transgender adults needed when they were gender variant youth, and what parents of transgender children need. These studies have found that gender variant children need educated authority figures, acceptance and support to discuss their gender variance, the freedom of identity expression, validation, and recognition. Parents of these children identified the need for information, education to increase other’s awareness, peer support, and access to educated professionals.
World Professional Associate for Transgender Health (WPATH)
As always, if you are just learning about the experience of being transgender, a great place to start is the World Professional Association for Transgender Health, WPATH . This organization has produced the go to guide for transgender health called “The Standards of Care ”, currently in its 7th edition. This guide helps individuals and health care professionals understand what to expect and how to help in the safest and healthiest ways.
In this document you will find a section titled “Assessment and Treatment of Children and Adolescents with Gender Dysphoria (GD)”, including important differences between children and adolescents with GD, competencies for mental health professionals working with these children, and explains in great detail options for social and physical transition, with both permanent and reversible options.
Parents Seeking Own Help To Offer Support To Their Children
As identified in the research, peer support is an important aspect of a parent’s journey, and groups can be found at your closest LGBTQ Resource Center. North County residents have access to the North County LGBTQ Center located in Oceanside. These groups can help by offering an opportunity to speak with other parents in the same or similar circumstances and exchange information as well. When a parent gets their own help and support, they are better able to offer support to their children. Group support is important, as well as individual and family therapy.
There may be questions about what to do and how to proceed. Parents may experience a period of mourning the loss of the child they thought they had and accepting the one that actually do†have. Again, there is no shame here or judgement it’s OK to seek out some help in understanding and integrating this new information. If you would like to talk with a therapist about finding some support for yourself or your family, you can call Coherence Associates at (760) 942-8663. We are here to help you find the support you and your family want and need to move forward in the healthiest way.